I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
