I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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