The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
being pregnant is like rehab
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
