So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
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i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
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You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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