I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
