Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize