Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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