i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
