People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
