Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
