ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize