Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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