His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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