so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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