We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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