Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
