One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
