listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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