I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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