honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
