Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
