Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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