why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
