i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
