He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dignity is for republicans.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
