This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
