We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
