she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dicks are not precious.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
