I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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