like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
