I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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