How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
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Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
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He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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