I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
