It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
