Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
