we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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