you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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