Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
