But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
