paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
