i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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