I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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