Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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