This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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