Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize