I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
