he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
