I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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