You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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