Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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