He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i think i just lost a toe
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
