apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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