You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
