i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
