I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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