just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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