38 yer olds are good kisserssss
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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