We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
