my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
