I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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