Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Nicole vs. Life
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
