when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
