just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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