Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Randomize
