I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
how drunk are you?
Several
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
