you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
