i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
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