i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i out mim tonsoeep
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