i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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