my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize