For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
