Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
