I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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